Thinking of You
by ravendream
Summary: [Kaoru's POV; one-shot; Songfic: My Will- Dream] When Kenshin's gone, and Kaoru's left behind to wait for his return, what does she think about?


(A/N:

Bunny: ^______^x, my first Kenshin songfic! *Cheers* I kinda cut out the romanji, since I'm assuming most of you would prefer to read the English lyrics, ne?

Sano: *with all the sarcasm he can find ^^* Yee-haw... 

Bunny: I absolutely love this song! It's "My Will", by Dream. Any Inu-Yasha fans out there? This is the first ending theme. It reminds me of Kenshin and Kaoru... *grins* Well... I'm sure this won't be as good as I was hoping in the beginning, but I hope you like anyway ^^x... Here goes!)

NOTE: The Japanese lyrics weren't included in this songfic, but if you're interested in reading the romanji then you can e-mail me, and I'll give you the address.

Thinking of You

[Songfic to "My Will" by Dream]

[Kaoru's POV]

[By Bunny-chan a.k.a. Kawaii Kokkei Tsuita no Neko]

__

Quietly awakening...

I always, always wish

that these fleeting thoughts

would reach you...

"I'll be back soon."

Doesn't he always say that? Normally, minutes only turn to hours, which often turn to days. But I'm afraid that this time, the days might turn into weeks, and the weeks into months. 

My Kenshin has left me again. 

__

Unable to move forward across "just a little more" distance

The way I see before me is always blocked

Every time the days I want to see you but can't, pile up

My strong heartbeat turns into heartbreak

He'll be okay, won't he? 

I'm sorry, I know I'm rambling on. But... I can't help it sometimes. When he's gone, I worry about him... And I can't help but wonder, will he be okay? 

He's always come back to me before, but what if this time is different? What if this time is the exception? What if he leaves me forever?

__

If there is such a thing as "eternity",

I want to believe, even if I have to take the long way.

Although I know that I've been hurt before because I'm clumsy

I won't stop; I won't give in to anyone.

Believe it or not, it's quite common for me to think this way now. It wasn't so common before though...

Before I met my wanderer... Back then, I was always acting tough. I always kept up an act, I always wanted to look even stronger than I was. Because I felt that I would be protected that way. I wouldn't let weaknesses like fear betray me and leave me for dead. 

But he challenged everything I've ever thought. Because sometimes, the Battousai still lurking inside him scares me. And always, the Kenshin that he currently is worries me. 

__

I think of you 

And that alone is enough

To make the tears start to flow now

I always, always wish

That these fleeting thoughts

Would reach you...

I once promised myself that I wouldn't cry. And again, he changed everything. 

What is it when someone can make you feel such a wide range of emotions? What is it called when they can make you happy, worried, afraid, and sad, all at the same time?

Is this the true identity of love?

__

I've known all too well about pretending to be strong.

But since then, my doubts have vanished.

It hurts. 

It hurts me to think of him now. To think that he could be hurt and in pain. That's a good type of hurt though, isn't it? When someone hurts you like this, it means that you care. You care deeply for them.

But that's not stopping my tears, now is it? Maybe I care too much, because it only takes my thoughts of him to start crying now.

__

There's definitely things I want to show you 

And so many words I want to hear

I want to see all sides of you, when you laugh and cry

So I'll stop waiting

And seize my "chance."

Only yesterday, it occurred to me. I've never seen Kenshin cry. I've seen so many things in those deep, amethyst eyes. I've seen his deep sorrow, but never once did he shed a tear. He can't fool me, I know that it's one of his attempts at staying in control. 

I want to show him. I want to show him that it's all right to cry. To let his emotions go. And that when that time comes, he can come to me, and I'll be here for him. I want to see all of him. Not just Kenshin, or Battousai. I want to see both of them, together. I want to see everything that he is and was.

__

I think of you, 

And I feel like that alone is enough

To make my heart grow stronger.

I always, always wish

That these fleeting thoughts

Would reach you...

I'm sorry, I've spent all this time going on about nothing, haven't I? 

Well, I suppose that I'll only have to let fate take its path. Wherever both Kenshin and I end up, is where we're destined to be, right? 

And if Kenshin and I are destined to be together, then he can feel what I feel. And maybe if he feels these tears and thinks of me, then we can be together, even though we're apart...

__

I think of you

And that alone is enough

To make the tears start to flow now

My distant voice can't reach you now, but so that someday

It definitely will...

Believe... la la la la la la

Believe... la la la la la la

Believe... la la la la la la

**((***))**

Thanks for reading! Now you see the little thing down there that says "submit a review"? Yep, that's it... 

NOW PRESS IT!! 

^_________^x


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